What Cancer Treatment Needs

Deciding to fight cancer is easy, because it has a great long-term reward - living. However, cancer treatment has a lousy short-term reward system. It doesn't reward little victories, and each treatment for one thing punishes you in another way.

The chemo and radiation that kill the cancer also wreck your digestive track, skin, and hairdo. The stem cells engraft (even more today - woooohooo!) and immediately give you graft vs. host disease. The drugs and CT scans stop your kidneys, and then the kidney treatment rewards you with sprints to the restroom (if you can unhook your oxygen and drag your IV pole into place fast enough, slowed by the pain medicine).

You must walk to keep your circulation, then wrap your feet to stop the fluids from pooling in your sore feet. You take steriods to make the stem cells grow faster and then immune suppressants to prevent them from working too fast (some irony there). Lots of the drugs keep you a little crazy, or groggy, or anxious, making you bolt from a deep sleep saying strange things like, "but did you read that book...er...what book...where am I?", and "can Ben and I spend the night at Bard's house" and "I can't eat now - I have to go to dinner with Jordan's parents" at 2 a.m.

So after one of those days, the only short-term reward is the doctors coming in and saying, "everything is looking great - you are one of our best patients! You are ahead of the curve. Stop asking when you can get out." At least, that's what it sounded like they said. It was hard to hear as your IV tubing jerked your IV pole and the oxygen mask nearly took your head off as you dove for the restroom door...

Day 18 done!