The Top Ten GOOD Things about Cancer

Our Top Ten good things about cancer:

10. Saving of hundreds of dollars on hair cuts, razor blades, shampoo, hair gel, and other products.

9. The 145 movies available in your room, even if some are on ancient VHS tapes

8. Never oversleeping (blood drawn at 4 a.m., remember)

7. Being able to see the TV in your bedroom without your feet getting in the way

6. The attention you get from the staff when you scream out “I’m hit!” really loud during X-Box games

5. Your doctors say “great news” when you ate two high-calorie milk shakes for breakfast, only threw up once, and gained two pounds, all in one day. (Editor’s note: when did your doctor last say “great news”?)

4. The day they accidentally left the morphine drip on high (well, maybe that was a good day….who could remember?)

3. The first few moments after removing the gastro suction tube last month (editor’s note: this item divides the readers into two groups - those that say, “what?”, and those that say, “yeah, I remember having one of those….that is a great moment…”)

2. Realizing that if you say “my shoulder hurts” or even “my feet are sore”, people jump to give you rubdowns, and sometimes the physical therapy folks even show up for a real massage.

And the number one good thing about cancer:

1. Finding out how much your friends and family care about you.